Friday, April 27, 2012

Stuck in Neutral

I know it's been a long time since I've written anything on here.  Honestly I've had a hard time finding any words to write.  It's so hard to believe that my sweet angel would be 6 weeks old already.  It's so startling how fast time flies.  And while time flies, sometimes it seems that it just drags on by.  There are days when it seems like the whole world has moved on and forgotten while I feel like I'm stuck in neutral...not necessarily wanting to stay in the state I'm in, but having a hard time moving forward.  I just don't want to forget, and I don't want others to forget my beautiful baby.  What he looked like, the way his little mouth opened and twitched every few minutes like a sign saying "hey, I'm still here."  The way he curled his little legs up so that his body was just a tiny little ball, his head full of hair, the jaw like his daddy's and nose like mommy's, how he looks so much like my dad.  So many things I'm so scared of forgetting.  I am so thankful for the pictures Karen took for us.  They're so precious to me that when I started trying to pick out the "best" ones to print, I couldn't choose.  Even the ones that were so similar that you can't hardly tell them apart...I printed them all...All 325 of them!  They fill two sweet little blue and yellow baby photo albums that are two of my most prized possessions.  I wanted to share these pictures with you, so I uploaded them to a Picasa album on Google.  https://picasaweb.google.com/107480046572166897680/Kelsey31412#  Hopefully this link will work.  If not, I'll try again another day.  Most of them are in the order that she took them...start to finish.  From birth to passing.  I will forever be grateful to Karen and Cliff for the blessing they gave us through Kelsey's pictures.  While I hope you enjoy them,  I also pray that you will see the awesome blessing God gives through the life of a child and the importance of every single life...no matter how small. 

2 comments:

  1. Crystal, you're such a blessing and you're so much stronger than you realize. I love you and only wish I could have meet sweet Kelsey too. One day sweet friend I will though and you will see that sweet boy again...hold him again...love him and not have to ever let him go again...

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  2. Crystal, as I checked back on here I read my comment and realized that although I sent it with good intention, it's probably insensitive and inconsiderate. I'm truly sorry! I know that you are trying to cling to the hope that you will see sweet Kelsey again. I know that you're trying to believe, with all you have in you, that God's hand is at work in this. I know that it still doesn't take away the heartache and brokenness you feel...the longing of your empty arms. I'm so sorry that you have to know this hurt...this heartbreak. You don't see it but you're doing so good right now and you're going to make it through, moment by moment...easy for me to say, I know. I pray in the name of Jesus that you know you're being held...that God's light can shine into this darkness. I love you and we're continuing to pray for ya'll. Love you sweet friend.

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